I sit here on a train having just spent some really valuable time with a friend and colleague, putting the world to rights and just generally having a laugh.

Male friends have been few and far between for me, and I think the reason is that I have always been pretty emotionally-led as a human being and a lot of guys don’t know what to do with that! My close friends are mainly female (with a few notable exceptions) I just feel far more comfortable being myself in that arena.

I had sort of become numb to the importance of having men as mates. Even in scenarios where I feel comfortable, like at my gym, I find it tricky to make conversation with blokes. I get anxious and feel judged.

My mate said to me today:

“You’re not at your best when you get in your head, Wayne – and I know this because I am the same”

I valued this so much because it was unapologetically truthful, but there was also comfort in this not being a criticism of me personally, but instead a fact that we shared.

I place a high value on these friendships. There is mutual respect, honesty and a shared perspective. As a man it is important to have friendships that span every gender, every race and every age. This diversity feeds our development and allows us to experience more than just a narrow viewpoint. But recently I have rediscovered the importance of also sharing with those people like ourselves who can show genuine empathy, whilst also knowing you understand them as well.

As men if we can truly get to know each other, cast bravado aside and instead really focus on the friendships that we make, I feel that there is a lot to gain for all parties involved. And maybe, just maybe there will be lessons that we can learn from each other.

Today was a couple of pints, some great conversation, and a much needed vent. But beyond that it was some quality time with a mate that didn’t revolve anything in particular. We just enjoyed each other’s company and of course the beers! 🍺

In summary, we need to be there for each other as men. Make it ok to be unapologetically ourselves, and remove sexuality, politics and football?! From the equation and just get to know the man behind it all.

Life feels a lot better knowing that I have mates who are as there to support me as I will be to support them. We are strong. We are valid. We are alive.

Let’s stay that way.

TIB