ThatIsBeyond… This dad’s swimming trunk dilemma!

Sometimes there is a cataclysmic event that leads you to believe the world is working in some unbelievable and mysterious way. But other times the merest hint of coincidence can click days later! Today’s post is about the latter…

Recently I decided that it was about time that I took my little boy for his first swim at the local leisure centre, and as with most things I avoided the high chance of procrastination by packing the night before (because if your bag is packed, you may as well go!)

All of the essentials were folded neatly into a gym bag that was a long time retired from use. Swim nappies and trunks, towels, my favoured Korres shampoo, spare pants, a comb, some change for the locker (it used to be 20p and now is a pound…I guess that’s inflation for you) and of course my David Gandy swim shorts in a classic Navy blue. It was all placed carefully in the bag ready for our momentous trip awaiting the addition of my phone and car keys the next morning.

We arrive at the local leisure centre, pay the toll and make our way to the family changing room. It is there that the screaming begins.

My son Toby decides that under no circumstances is he going to stay in this damp, echoey, poorly lit cubicle and worse than that “Evil Daddy” is trying to take his socks off (which is perhaps the worst thing that could possibly happen, evidently…)

Getting him ready to swim took a lot of effort, something akin to removing a Klingon from the starboard bow, I imagine. Every piece of clothing had to traverse his resistance whilst he attaches himself to me with a vicelike grip. Thank god for a mini seat with straps that meant that when I had finally got him ready he was held secure long enough for me to change into my designer trunks.

I have reviewed David Gandy’s range of swimwear on a couple of occasions:

David Gandy Swimwear

I stand by my opinion that they are great. I feel good in them, excellent quality and of course the fit is impeccable… at least it was.

Since the arrival of my darling boy, I have not had a holiday anywhere where a jumper was not necessary, let alone where I am out in public in a relatively small piece of fabric! So when in my haste to get the boy ready, I pulled up the shorts to discover that they had gone on rather too easily! I tightened the handy side toggle which tightened the waist to its smallest circumference and still there was massive risk of a permanant builders bum!

It dawned on me that I had two options. Remove the oversized trunks Re-dress, take the chance of riling my son again and getting him dressed back into his clothes and speed off home forgetting that this had ever happened, OR I could hold him with one arm, my trunks with the other and dive right in… figuratively speaking.

So that is what I did. I figured if I had got this far I might as well continue, (and I wanted to avoid any more grabbing of my neck-fat by my fantastic son!) It was fine. We struggled through the visit and the next day I was elated to hear my two year old say “I like the swimming pool, Daddy.”

I was aimlessly surfing the world of Instagram a few days later, and saw some sunny pics of couples soaking up the rays on the beach, when it dawned on me … I was too skinny for swimming trunks I wore two years ago.

Between work, Dadsponsibilities, Buying a house and life in general I had somehow managed to drop a full waist size!

Coincidently, for the first time ever I will be searching for trunks in a size that doesn’t start with an X.

If I hadn’t packed my bag the night before I never would have gone to the pool, and I never would have put the trunks on, and probably not realised that I was looking like a teenager in low hanging denim! It’s not earth shaking for humanity, but a positive conicidence for me.

But what should I buy? What does a broad, far from David Gandy Sized guy, buy to swim in when he’s hardly a beach bod, but has miraculously managed to lose that X that had been weighing him down?

I have since been swimming again and took some shorts to wear instead … they went pretty much see-through, which is one look a person of any-size should avoid in a leisure centre!

If you can help with my swimwear woes, any suggestions are welcomed in my comments. Hit me up with you fave brands and what swimwear is hot this coming season.

Share and like this post, if this is your sort of thang!


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