Thatisbeyond… Olive oil and paper panties!

Today on the island of Crete I treated myself to little massage in the Spa that is part of our hotel.

First of all there were a plethora of options, as many as your average food menu at least! Included were your usual relaxing, aromatherapy options, waxing and facials, but there were two variations on a standard massage that were a little different!

The first was a Raki massage – at first I thought it was a mis-spelling of Raiki, but swiftly was corrected by the attendant, who said that they use the alcoholic (and potent) drink RAKI as the lubrication for the massage! Just the though of it was enough to get me high from the potential fumes!

The second was a massage using local olive oil (one pictures themselves being impaled on a skewer and barbecued) but in a way I thought this was quite appealing (not the impaling) but the olive oil!

There was also a mud wrap one as well but that was a bit out of my meagre price range!

So olive oil it was!

This establishment is small but also a professional outfit, all of the staff knew what they were talking about and knew the treatments inside out. So I booked my self in for an hours treatment (normal cost €90) discounted to €60 … It was a treat afterall!

We didn’t get off to a good start! On entering the room, the candles were flickering away, the mood music way softly playing in the background, in awe of all the relaxation my mind drifted just momentarily and when I snapped back to reality a “one use” pair of paper, unisex pants was put in my hand and the masseuse left with the words put these on and I will be in, in a minute.

Firstly, paper underwear is wrong. Secondarily, how can anything in the world be unisex AND one size fits all???! Needless to say that the sorry replacements for my aussiebum’s were neither comfortable or well fitting! On my rotund figure, they were a cross between a string bikini, and a paper towel (trust me neither of these images is a particularly flattering one to have in your mind, but think of me who had to see it and check everything was both, in its right place and covered up!)

Paper panties aside though, it really was an excellent massage. It was a happy medium between a relaxing massage and a sports massage (which was my choice) The Olive Oil thing was fine, although I still felt really quite slippery even after a shower, sauna and steam! I think this would be great for anyone with any minor skin complaints as it felt nourishing in a strange way.

I felt very calm and relaxed, but key areas were noticeably less stiff and tiresome (no pun intended) my hips felt less achy, and my shoulders that are always tense, were 100% less restricted and painful. Also notable, was a marked improvement in the dryness of the skin on my feet – methinks I will be buying extra from the supermarket and applying liberal amounts of the stuff at home!

The thing about massages, is the cost. They aren’t cheap. I have had them at Nickel on Covent Garden and it really is an investment, the benefits are fantastic, but I’m not the guy that has £90 sitting around doing nothing!
So I say get over the embarrassment of the paper pants (not necessary in most places) and give it a try, it might just make a difference to your life.

I think some men are a bit worried about the “extras” thing. Let’s face it if you go to a reputable place, this subject need never be an issue, but I would say that Nickel’s website is fantastic and tackles some of these FAQ’s in a humorous and entertaining way before you book, which should be enough to put you at ease.

I had a great experience here in Crete and I would definitely partake again, and maybe next time I would go with the RAKI one! When I return to the UK I may just brave some waxing too… I am the biggest wimp when it comes to pain, but I feel that it’s probably something that I should do to take care of the manscaping! I’m guessing no paper panties needed for that one!


Join the Conversation


  1. Paper panties for a massage…slightly unusual indeed! I’ve never heard of that! Haha! They do do things in Crete slightly different though. I went to Crete last year but was too relaxed to even try a spa treatment at my hotel! Glad it worked out for you. 🙂


    1. Yeah took me by surprise too! Still you live and you learn, got back early this morning and am now unpacking, washing and re packing for a trip to Copenhagen (for work) I’ve never been such a jet setter! How’s things in the world of ?


Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: