The manly thing is to NOT talk about your feelings, Right?
It’s tough to circumnavigate life, feeling alone and not being able to express how you feel. It’s also incredible that you can spend your life surrounded by people who love and care for you, but you can’t reveal your feelings to them because you don’t want to “burden” them with your “problems”.
For a lot of men, how they are perceived is fundamental to how they live their lives – and over the years showing the world how you feel has definitely been viewed as a sign of weakness.
We lose good men every day.
In 2017 alone we lost 4382 good men to suicide in the U.K. alone.
And I, for one, wonder whether any of those lives could have been saved with a safe space to talk. A place that fits into your everyday life, a place that isn’t daunting to cross the threshold of, and a place with other men who are open, without an ounce of masculinity missing.
Murdock London @murdocklondon are leading the way in providing this service with their barbers receiving Mental Health first aid training. This is one step closer for the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) @calmzone and their battle to destroy male suicide.
On this blog I have poured my heart out – about the birth of my son and my own body perception, but I have never shared this:
My depression was thankfully short-lived. Onset by an accident that I was hundreds of miles from, I just couldn’t shake a feeling of helplessness. Not being able to do anything was the hardest part. My brother had almost died when I was younger and I froze and couldn’t do anything to help him – and this time he almost lost his life and I couldn’t get to him – I was too far away. The guilt of not being able to support my family and wishing it had been me instead was a constant struggle.
My face was growing paler by the day as I couldn’t leave my bed, harming myself so that I would feel something, anything other than the sensation of sinking into a chasm.
When I eventually made it out of bed I would watch the working day slip by, in third person.
I had many friends, colleagues and family who I could turn to, but I didn’t. What would they think? Why would they care?
Eventually, I asked for help. Someone I didn’t know that well. But someone.
And I got the help I needed. Because a lot of the time it’s a lot easier to talk to a complete stranger, than it is the people who are closest to you
I suffer from low moods, but I would say that I haven’t been depressed, since. I am a much more open person than I was back then.
So when I learned about this new initiative from Murdock of London, I had to get involved. I can’t stand to lose another person in my life because they don’t feel able to be open.
The CALM initiative, now means that when you next sit in a Murdock barber’s chair, there is someone Coiffing your hair, who you know that you can talk to. Someone who won’t judge you. And someone who won’t pass any judgement. We need to stick together – and this is a great start.
I learned some life lessons at the barber shop. Good Banter, safe sex and dealing with facial hair to name but a few! But in a world where time is at a premium, this has sort of been lost in translation. So let’s all take some pride in our selves and put ourselves out there… why not chat it out, whilst your barber gets you looking good!
It’s time to get sharing (your feelings and this post) and please share these hashtags too. #calmzone #murdocklondon #morethanabarber Perhaps your ‘share’ could help save a man from himself – let’s show the world that sharing is looking after yourself – and everyone knows that a decent haircut or a shave will make you feel a whole lot better about yourself too!
“Looking after men is fundamental and part of our DNA”
And perhaps we all need to think a bit more like this ourselves.
I firmly support this initiative. So why not restyle your hair and your mental health???
Keep Calm and carry on to Murdock’s of London